My breakup with Facebook

September 20, 2016 — by Maya Prasad

Much like going through a text-breakup, my recent separation with Facebook caused me to enter the cycle of the seven stages of grief.

 

“Account Disabled. Your account was removed from Facebook because we found it's pretending to be someone else.”

These sentences that appeared on my computer screen on Sept. 8 brought immense fear into my life when I tried to log on. Much like going through a text-breakup, my recent separation with Facebook caused me to enter the cycle of the seven stages of grief.

 

Stage 1: Shock and Denial

At first, I couldn’t believe what was in front of my eyes and thought I had entered the wrong login information. I hopelessly entered my username and password three more times only to get the same message over again. This couldn’t be happening. Impersonation? I have never pretended to be someone else on my account before. On what basis could Facebook disable my account? I kept pushing this issue away, telling myself it would come back in a few hours due to a momentary glitch in the system.

 

Stage 2: Pain and Guilt

I began to feel self-doubt and justify Facebook’s actions. Maybe I did impersonate another user every time I messaged my friends “I wish I were Beyonce” or maybe I was too clingy because I logged on every five seconds. My friends told me to stop putting the blame on myself and that it wasn’t my fault. I needed to be assertive, not hurt myself as Facebook was already hurting me.

 

Stage 3: Anger and Bargaining

After all the devotion I showed toward Facebook almost every moment of the day, how can it treat me this way and breakup with me so impersonally through text? Facebook required me to send in a photo verification so I sent in my ID numerous times only to receive an email saying I sent it through the “wrong channel.”

It was like Facebook had changed all forms of communication just to avoid contact with me. Infuriated, I began a series of rants about what kind of malicious high schooler would report my account as a joke. I transitioned from venting about this anonymous student to insulting Facebook and its inability to recognize that I was a real person.

 

Stage 4: Depression and Loneliness

No one understood what I was going through. With a tub of ice cream and a spatula in my hand, I realized Facebook always let me connect to the social world and spend time away from the mountains of homework on my desk. But a few days later, I found solace in a group of students whose accounts had also been disabled by Facebook for no reason as well. We each shared our tales of how Facebook abandoned us and I didn’t feel so alone anymore. I wasn’t the only one.

 

Stage 5: The Upward Turn

I tried to ignore anything that was remotely related to Facebook and found some benefit in my account being disabled. I wasn’t so distracted anymore or worried about spending time with Facebook. I didn’t have to focus on a relationship because it was my time now. I became more focused on my homework, finishing by 10 p.m. and getting nine hours of sleep almost every day.

Step 6: Reconstruction and Working Through

My mind cleared all its initial moments of grief and I formulated a plan: I didn’t want to crawl back into Facebook’s arms because I had too much self-respect for that, but maybe Facebook could change. I decided to give it the benefit of doubt since I am a firm believer that people can indeed change. Giving all the information necessary, I got in touch with someone who works at Facebook and we began the journey to recover my account.

 

Stage 7: Acceptance and Hope

My account was gone and I knew it. But I also knew it would come back to me soon. Despite everything, I knew that my connection with Facebook was undeniably special and that the incident was just a mistake. As I waited to see if Facebook will meet me halfway, I could only hope that my account and I would be reunited soon. And on the morning of Sept. 19, we were back together again.  

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